With five boys, I have a lot of experience at playing good guys and bad guys. Silas, unfortunately, still hasn't mastered it.
Yesterday, for instance, he bumped his head on the corner of the kitchen counter. It juts out at just the right place and height for him to catch it every once in a while. "Grandmama pushed me!" he cried.
"Grandmama did not push you!" I said. "She would never do that. You need to say your sorry."
"Sorry." How sincere.
Five minutes later. "Grandmama ate my yogurt!" Sigh. May I take a moment to describe Silas' eating habits? He leaves his chicken nuggets and eats all his broccoli. He snubs his fries and eats his salad. I've never experienced a preschooler with such a palate. And, remember, I have a lot to compare to.
If it was ice cream that was at stake, he wouldn't have cared. But this was his yogurt. His Fiber One Key Lime Pie yogurt. "She did not eat your yogurt, Silas. You ate it."
"Noooo," he wailed. "Grandmama ate it."
Clearly, Silas has his allies and enemies confused, for, if anyone is on his side, it's Grandmama. Toy Provider. Fan. Friend. Slave. Just last night, at his command, she put a Snapple box on her head and played robot with him. This morning, it was bowling in the hall with plastic cups for pins, and at lunch, they watched TV in her bed while he ate his lunch, despite her sheets becoming filled with crumbs.
Grandmama just stopped by my office door to tell me how terrific Silas is.
And Silas just stopped by my office fresh up from his nap to tell me I am a bad guy.
Every so often I have to go retrieve Silas from Grandma's room. "Silas, I told you no more TV today. And no candy either. It is too close to dinner."
"Grandmama said I could!"
"I confess," she always agrees. "He asked if he could watch and I couldn't resist."
Maybe he is better at this good guy/bad guy business than I think.