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The Big Picture

How to Make a Monster

Maybe it's  because Halloween is almost upon us that I have monsters on my mind.
Perhaps you have seen one in the grocery store, the mall, or  (as we all have occasionally) lurking about in your own home. 
Whether you have one or ten kids, parenting is exhausting.  It is a full time job about which you must be relentless.  But in case you're feeling too weary for the task, here is my recipe for creating your own little monster.
Homemade Monster
  • One heaping tablespoon (each) of sighs, cries and rolling of eyes
  • Regular giant servings of every electronic gadget. For best results, add well before high school.
  • Frequent dashes of disrespect in the form of "none ya', 'whatever' and 'duh'
  • Serve the above with generous helpings of only what is desired at every mealtime.
Whip in  a steady flow of popular culture--uncensored and unsupervised
Sprinkle in rudeness with pinches of bad sportsmanship and/or bad manners.
Serving Suggestion:  The following ingredients are optional but should be omitted for reaching maximum monster capacity. Follow instructions below:
  • affordability: stream in a steady flow of cash
  • accountability: never inspect what you expect
  • reliability: require that no task be completed
  • time: equal substition: 1 hour time = 1 new toy/gadget
Simmer for 18 years (or longer) at an even, steady temperature to prevent any and all discomfort.
After Halloween is over, most monsters will disappear.  Follow this fool proof recipe, however, and you will have enough monster to last a lifetime. 
"If a child is corrected, he becomes wise.   But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."  Proverbs 29:15 (NIRV)

5 Comments to How to Make a Monster:

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JP on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 10:14 AM
One of our children had a play date last week. His friend wanted to show him something on youtube so our son came to us and asked if they could. We asked what it was called and he told us and then we looked it up. When we saw what it was we said "No you can not watch that, it is inappropriate". He went and told his friend and he said "Wow your parents actually watch what you do on the computer? Mine let me do what ever I want and never check". Same kid not even 5 minutes later was heard swearing at one of our daughters and we had to talk to him about language he uses in our house. So glad we monitor and limit. We have nice (most of the time), polite, and respectful children.
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Emerine on Wednesday, October 19, 2011 11:14 AM
Margie...trying to read the blogs but the colors are difficult to see...not sure if it's just my computer or if the site has changed?? Any suggestions??
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margie on Saturday, November 05, 2011 3:28 AM
I have changed the site. Let me know if it's better now. Thanks for the head's up!

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